Thursday, October 23, 2008

Now I am an administrator

Over here at the office, there have been a few changes. 
I have moved myself from one column to another
and Now I am an administrator.

I used to think there were not enough arts administrators
then I thought there were far too many,
“There is far too much management in the arts - seriously”, I said,
but now that I am an administrator,
my very own personal Sherrie Johnson clone,
I fear I may be too much for myself.

Will I be two times as desperate for validation from an uncaring world?
Will I hate myself for making difficult to explain, hard to sell art?
Things that my mother hates?

Will I start talking about legacies so that I can justify ‘what I do’ with tawdry half-assed structures instead of working under the loathed corpse of the artist who is supposed to be inhabiting my imagined future with Outstanding Extraordinary Excellence?
Let him fuck himself! He is obviously unworthy of my supportive efforts so let’s forget the art and turn our attentions to legacies and the community. Community. You know? The clique. Then I think, “fuck that shit, creativity is it’s own legacy!”.

If I fired the artist, I’d be out of a sector and a job. If the sector vanished, that little fucker artist would still keep making shit.

Now I am an administrator
It’s hard to sleep with myself.

On the street outside the office a group of architects were looking at the architectural panel screens that are being erected on the exterior of the new Woodwards high rise. They are rust red metal and have identical lacy, organic-ish, designs. Like scabs.
I said, “It looks like your building has a sexually transmitted disease.”

It must have picked it up at the olympic corporate cluster fuck.

Hey Everybody! Invite me to your arts administrator/managers meetings!

I’m a barrel of laughs.

I’m changing the office motto to "Do What You Want To Do" .

It may seem less worldly than "BE PATIENT,THE WORLD IS STUPID" (motto#1), or "TAKE RISKS,THE WORLD IS CHANGING" (motto#2)- but it feels right for me, for now.

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